What attracts men to a fat woman
Big sex: where is the limit
between fetish and desire?
Dear Conny, I find your contributions an enrichment of the blog AND actually they would - all, across the board - wonderful templates for lively discussions. It is a shame that these blogs (not only this one) rarely give rise to discussions. I would like to use this post and say thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
But back to the subject of fetish and fat .. I think, regardless of whether we are fat or thin, women run the risk of being only intended as a sex object and not as a person. I now know both the “normal” slim way of life (i.e. not thin, but 36/38 later for a long time 40) as well as the fat one. Looking back and comparing, I can only say that I only have a man today who loves me all around as I am and who has got to know me well. Who is proud of me, values my opinion, loves my humor (a very important factor in our relationship), supports me wherever I can, but does not limit or even prevail. For his predecessors, I was slim but, because I was blessed with my own opinion and values, rather exhausting - possibly also sometimes just annoying. It wasn't about me as a woman as a whole.
As for the experience on dating platforms ... what I hear is that slim women have similar experiences. Then it's just different fetishes, different sexual preferences. What they all have in common, however, is that only the optics and not the entire person are meant. (Dating platforms would be worth their own topic - you can only survive them with a good sense of humor, self-confidence and an eye for situation comedy - and a healthy mistrust)
In the end, the only question that remains for me is why so many men are ashamed of finding fat women attractive. And here I make it easy for myself :-) .. and draw the conclusion for myself that it is not important to know why. It is sufficient to assume that these are all men who do not rest in themselves and, in the best case scenario, they lack self-confidence (in the worst case it is simply a weakness of character) and for this reason alone are out of the question for a partnership with me. They would be more of a burden than an enrichment (a man should do me good - men also have this claim on us women)
In any case, my husband has not suffered any professional disadvantages from me, nor would anyone have ever thought of commenting negatively on me - the opposite is the case. I assume that this is partly because my husband always and in every situation signals that we belong together and that he is proud of me and values my opinion. He's loyal and so am I. I suspect that it simply doesn't occur to anyone that there could be room for negative comments.
If I wanted to / have to look for a partner again today - at an advanced age - then a man would only be worth a second look as a potential partner if I laughed heartily with him (we would have to have a similar sense of situation comedy) and discuss it extensively and passionately. And if THAT was true, then the next thing would be the values. Here, too, I would be less willing to compromise today than I was when I was younger. But this is also due to the fact that I now know for sure that living alone has its advantages and that I can also enjoy that and thus a relationship is only an enrichment and not a basis for a happy and contented life. It was different when I was young - and that meant I more often made compromises in the wrong place.
The great, loyal men who also fit in with us are generally rare ... for thin and fat women (and I'm afraid that men will have similar experiences in reverse).
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