What are some funny physics jokes

I have been collecting diligently in the past, and yet I have amassed some jokes on the subject of math, physics and similar subjects. Caution: You can only understand a few jokes if you are a mathematician or a physicist, and another part only if you are not.

Schrödinger's car is stopped at the border. Says the customs officer to him:
"Do you know there's a dead cat in your trunk?"
"Alright, you idiot!"

"You, the little one complained earlier about a stomachache and a gastrointestinal infection is rampant in the daycare center."
"Oh no, do you think she got infected?"
"Well, we won't know until she throws up."
"So basically Schrödinger's ..."
"Please do not!"
"... puke."

Albert Einstein is said to have met an incumbent Pope in the course of his life. They talked lively about this and that. At the very end, Einstein asked the church father:
"Your Reverend, what would you say if I were to show you now that God does not exist at all?"
Then the Pope:
"Dear Einstein, I am generous. I would give you a lot of time and let you do the math until you have found your mistake."

A mathematician suddenly dies. He hadn't expected that.

Why can't pirates calculate the area of ​​a circle?
Because they guess pi.

The fifth grade math teacher asks: "Which numbers between 1 and 10 are divisible by 2?"
"Everyone!" Replies the daughter of a mathematician.
(... and this is how she explains fractions to her grandmother.)

Albert Einstein, Sir Isaac Newton, Blaise Pascal, Niels Bohr and Max Planck play hide and seek. While Einstein closes his eyes to count to ten, the rest of them run off to find a good hiding place - all of them except Newton: he takes a piece of chalk, draws a square whose sides are 1 m long, and stands into the square. When Einstein turns around, he calls out: Ha! I found you Newton! Then Newton: Wrong, I'm not Newton, I'm Pascal!
(1 Pascal = 1 Newton / square meter)

Question: How do you manage to fell a huge tree?
Answer: You square it. With that the root disappears.

What kind of people were the great physicists?
Charles de Coulomb was invited.
Marie Curie beamed.
Christian Doppler was postponed.
Albert Einstein was relative.
Galileo Galilei was epidemic.
You could count on Hans Geiger.
Werner Heisenberg was out of focus.
Isaac Newton's effects were serious because he hadn't fallen on his head.
Georg Simon Ohm was resilient.
Ernest Rutherford was distracted.
Alessandro Volta was exciting.
Andre Marie Ampere was a Stromer.
Werner von Siemens was in charge.
Carl Friedrich Gauss was magnetizing.
Anders Celsius was hot.
Walther Gerlach was a weirdo.
Hugh Everett was out of this world.
Otto von Guericke was a hollow head.
Jean Foucault hung himself.
Blaise Pascal was always under pressure.
William Thomson was an absolute zero.
Wolfgang Pauli was excluded in principle.
Democritus could not and would not share.
Niels Bohr lived on a quiet life.
Erwin Schrödinger was undecided.
Hendrik Lorentz liked to be distracted.
William Lord Kelvin Thomson was very cold.
Boltzmann was warm.
Conrad Röntgen was penetrating and transparent.
Nikola Tesla was varied.
Daniel Bernoulli was elated.
Robert Boyle was an aerialist.
Gustav Kirchhoff liked to untie knots.
Michael Faraday was imprisoned.

How was the first atom split?
Otto Hahn gave it to his child with the words: Don't break it!

An experimental physicist comes excitedly into a theorist's office and shows him a graph with his latest measurement results.
"Hmmm," says the theorist, "that is exactly where a peak was to be expected. And here is the explanation ..." (A long, logical explanation follows.)
In the middle, the experimental physicist interrupts him: "Wait a minute!" He looks at the plot for a moment and says: "Oops, he's upside down."
After a corresponding correction, the theorist starts again: "Hmmm, that is exactly the place where a dip was to be expected. And here is the explanation ..."

Heisenberg drives on the autobahn and is stopped by the police. The officer asks for the driver's license and vehicle registration document, looks at them and asks:
"Mr. Heisenberg, do you know how fast you drove?"
"No," replies Heisenberg, "but I know where I am now!"

Mathematician in the physics exam.
Prof .: "Why don't you draw a sketch of the Sinus?"
(Test object paints.)
Prof .: "It looks pretty good."
Stud .: "No, that should be the x-axis, I'm so excited."

Physicists in the physics exam.
Prof .: "Say: Can an iron ball float on mercury?"
Stud. (Has studied hard, knows the density values ​​of Fe and Hg, calculates briefly and beams): "Yes, Professor. You can even use mercury almost two Iron balls float! "

Conversation between two computer scientists:
"How's the weather with you guys?"
"Caps Lock."
"Well, shift without end!"

If two electrons are sitting on a bench, a third one strolls along and asks: "May I sit down with you?"
Then the other two totally indignant: "You think we're bosons?"

Two uranium atoms sit on a bench as a neutron passes by. Then the two shout: "Splitter!"

What is a light year
The electricity bill for twelve months.

A professor of theoretical computer science and a professor of software engineering are at a congress in a banana republic. At precisely this point a revolution breaks out and the new regime has both arrested and sentenced to death. However, one grants both of them one last wish.
The theorist then says: "You know, I've sacrificed my whole life to theory, to predicate, modal, and temporal logic and of course also to the Turing machines. Only I was never thanked for it. At congresses my audience fell asleep and my lectures were always empty. That is why I wish that once in my life I could give a report on my research in front of a jam-packed lecture hall. "
The judge grants him the wish and turns to the practitioner. He replies: "I would like to be executed before this lecture!"

Two mathematicians in love with Platonically are in conversation.
One says: "The other day my friend arrived on her bike. She threw the bike aside, took off her dress, stood in front of me and said, I should finally take what I want. Then I got the bike taken. "
The other mathematician said: "Completely logical decision, her dress would certainly not have fitted you."

What is the difference between an introverted and an extroverted mathematician?
The extroverted mathematician looks at YOUR shoes while speaking ...

A statistician is asked where he wants to be buried.
His answer: "In Jerusalem, that is where the resurrection is most likely."

Why is statistics so important? Well, imagine the following:
A duck flies in the sky, where else. One hunter shoots past on the left, another past on the right. Statistically speaking, the duck is dead. You can now see that without statistics many people would go hungry.

The other day an epsilon was found that is so small that if you divide it by two it becomes negative.

Three engineers discuss what profession God has.
The first says: "God has to be a mechanical engineer. Just look at the skeleton: A miracle of mechanics!"
The second replies: "Absolutely not. God is an electrical engineer. Think about the nervous system - all the cables and connections, that's really great!"
Then the third: "No, God is definitely a civil engineer. Who else would put a sewer through the entertainment district?"


I believe in math, almighty science
She rules in the finite and in the infinite,
And in Analysis, their only born daughter,
Received by Pythagoras,
Born to Isaac Newton,
Baptized by Rieman,
She crucifies and kills the students.
She will come to judge the regulars and the singular.
I believe in the holy integral
Community of matrices,
Parametrization of sins,
And the eternal arithmetic

Claim: All natural numbers are interesting.
Proof: One is the first natural number, so it is interesting as such, so the set of interesting numbers is not empty.
Assumption: There are a lot of uninteresting numbers. Then there is a smallest uninteresting number, since the set of natural numbers is well ordered (every subset has a smallest element). As such, this is of course extremely interesting;

A dairy wants to increase its production and hires a biologist, a business administration graduate and a physicist to work out appropriate projects.
After half a year of intensive camping on the cattle pastures, the biologist suggests a special fertilization of the grass, which would ultimately increase the milk yield by 30%.
Another year later, the BWL-he proudly announces that due to his stunning new company organization, unfortunately half of all employees would have to look for a new job, but milk production could be increased by 50%.
Three years have now passed, the problem has almost been forgotten, the biologist fired because the milk began to laugh, and the business administrator lynched by the angry workforce. The physicist, who was completely sleepy, appeared with his head held high and his hair disheveled:
"We can easily quadruple production: Let's assume the cow is point-shaped and in a vacuum ..."

The math functions make a party. Sinus dances exuberantly on the dance floor and Cosinus is also in a good mood, only the e-function is a bit sad in the corner. When the logarithm comes by, he asks, "What's the matter with you, don't you like the party?"
Then the e-function: "Oh, I can't really integrate myself somehow."

What do magnetic fields and women have in common?
Both only distract and do no work!
(Note: This joke is not meant to be misogynistic and came from a female fan!)

When you let a mathematician choose between a bun and eternal bliss, what does he take?
The bun, of course: Nothing is better than eternal bliss - and a sandwich is better than nothing ...

What does a mathematician say to his wife after turning her on in bed?
"The rest is trivial, you can deduce it yourself as an exercise ..."

What is every mathematician's favorite movie?
The silence of the lemma

What are two lemmas?
A dilemma

Job interviews take place in a company.
The hiring manager asks applicants to simply count to 10.
The electronics engineer begins: "0001, 0002, 0003, 0004 ....."
The HR manager waves it off: "The next one, please!"
The mathematician: "We define the sequence a (n) with a (0) = 0 and a (n + 1) +1 ...."
The hiring manager breaks off and asks the next applicant:
The computer scientist begins: "0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, a, b, c ....."
The HR manager doesn't want him either.
A student comes last: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10."
The HR manager is enthusiastic: "You get the job!"
"Wait, I can go on: Jack, Queen, King ..."

A physics professor was explaining a particularly complex concept to his class when an astounded student interrupted him:
"What are we learning this stuff for?" The young man shouted.
"To save lives," replied the professor, and then went on.
A few minutes later the student answered again:
"How does physics save lives?"
The professor stared at the student for a moment and then replied:
"Physics saves lives," he said, "because it keeps the idiots out of medicine."

When a math student comes into a photo shop:
Student: "I would like to have prints made from this film."
Seller: "9 times 13?"
Student: "117. Why?"
When a math professor comes into a photo shop:
Professor: "I would like to have prints made from this film."
Seller: "9 times 13?"
Professor: "Yes, that can be solved. Why?"

An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist went to a racecourse one day to bet a little on the horses. In the evening the three meet again:
Engineer: "I don't understand why I lost all my money. I looked at the horses' strengths and weaknesses beforehand and then calculated who should actually win."
Physicist: "But you didn't take the daily form into account. Nevertheless, it didn't go so well for me either. How did it go for you, mathematician?"
Mathematician: "I made a lot of money."
Engineer: "How did you do that?"
Mathematician: "I calculated in advance who will win."
Physicist: "Was that even possible?"
Mathematician: "Well, first of all I assumed that all horses are the same and a ball ..."

What is yellow, crooked, normalized and complete?
A banana room!

What is a cluster point of Poland?

A student who lives on 500 DM BAFöG a month is a poor eater. If I increase the BAFöG of a poor man by DM 1, he is still poor. It follows with complete induction: No matter how high the BAFöG is, students are poor eaters.

Physicist: "Pi equals three, for a sufficiently small Pi and a large 3."

What is the mathematician's reaction to a fundamentally new theory?
1. Completely absurd stuff!
2. That is trivial!
3. Interesting, but perverse!
4. Besides, it doesn't work!
5. Correct, but immaterial!
6. Actually, I've always done it this way ...

An advanced civilization discovered a way to pack knowledge into pill form. A student goes to a pharmacy to learn a little:
Student: "I would like a pill for the French language."
The pharmacist briefly disappears into his warehouse and shortly afterwards comes back with the desired pill. The student swallows them and immediately masters the French language.
Student: "Now I would like to acquire a little knowledge of biology."
The pharmacist disappears again briefly in his warehouse and shortly afterwards gives the student the appropriate pill. "
Student: "What about mathematicians. Do you have pills for that too?"
Pharmacist: "Sure!"
He disappears again briefly in his camp and then comes back with a huge pill the size of a table tennis ball.
Student: "Do I actually have to take that big pill to do math ???"
Pharmacist: "Yes, math has always been difficult to swallow."

An engineer and a mathematician sit together in a lecture on Kulza-Klein theory, which deals with 11, 12 and even higher dimensions. The mathematician enjoys the lecture while the engineer looks more and more confused. When the lecture ends, the engineer has a terrible headache.
Engineer: "How can you understand this terrible, aloof talk?"
Mathematician: "I just imagine the whole thing."
Engineer: "How can you imagine an 11-dimensional space ???"
Mathematician: "Well, I imagine an n-dimensional space and then let n go around 11 .."

What do a mathematician and a physicist have in common?
They're both stupid - with the exception of the mathematician.

Why are mathematicians no longer employed at BMW?
They generally designed a car with n wheels and only then considered the special case n = 4 ...

Structure of a detective novel designed by a mathematician:
Chapter I The Origin of the Babylonian Legal System
Chapter II The United States Constitution
Chapter III The organizational structure of the police ministry
Chapter IV Elements of Judicial Practice
Chapter V Theory of Fingerprints
Chapter XXX (last page) The corpse
(The solution is left to the reader as a trivial exercise)

A statisker can stick his head in the oven and his feet in ice water and he'll say, "On average, I'm fine."

What is big, gray, not orientable and swims in the sea?
Moebius Dick

A man is married to a mathematician. He comes home, gives his wife a large bouquet of roses and says: "I love you!".
She takes the roses, knocks them on his ears, kicks him and throws him out of the apartment.What did he wrong?
He should have said: "I love you and only you!"

This poem was written by John Saxon, a math book writer. Since it cannot be translated, I have reprinted the original here:
((12 + 144 + 20 + (3 * 4^(1/2))) / 7) + (5 * 11) = 9^2 + 0
For those who don't understand:
A Dozen, a Gross and a Score,
plus three times the square root of four,
divided by seven,
plus five times eleven,
equals nine squared and not a bit more.

Ask a few people the question "What is 2 * 2" and you will get the following answers:
The engineer pulls out his pocket calculator, does a little math and finally says: "3,999999999"
The physicist: "On the order of 1 * 10 ^ 1"
The logician: "Please define 2 * 2 more precisely."
The hacker breaks into the NASA supercomputer and lets it do the math.
The psychiatrist: "I don't know, but it's good that we talked about it ..."
The accountant will first close all doors and windows, look around carefully and ask, "What kind of answer do you want to hear?"
The lawyer: "4, but I don't know if we can get away with it in court."
The politician: "I don't understand your question ..."
The mathematician will retire to his room for a day and then arrive beaming with joy with a thick bundle of paper and claim: "The problem can be solved, and the solution is clear!"

A lawyer, a doctor and a mathematician discuss whether a wife or a friend is better.
Lawyer: "A girlfriend is much better. When you get divorced, all possible legal complications arise."
Doctor: "A woman is better. She can give you security. This reduces stress and you live longer."
Mathematician: "It's best to have a wife and a girlfriend. If your girlfriend thinks you're with your wife and your wife thinks you're with your girlfriend, then you can at least do a little math in peace.

Here's another joke that unfortunately cannot be translated into German:
As everyone knows, Noah built an arc. Here is some additional information about what happened when the animals were getting off ...
Now, the world was pretty well empty of land creatures, so Noah gave all of the animals instructions as they departed.
To the Aardvarks, he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"
A couple snakes came slithering out, and he commanded, "Go forth and multiply!"
"We can't, we're adders." replied the snakes.
Well Noah kept giving commands, until at last he told the zebras, "Go forth and multiply!"
A while later he was walking around and stepped over a fallen tree. There were those snakes, well, er ... multiplying.
"I thought you said you couldn't multiply?" asked Noah.
"By LOGS we can!" replied the adders.

An engineer thinks his calculations are an approximation of reality.
A physicist believes that the realities are an approximation of his calculations.
A mathematician doesn't care.

Student: "Professor, can you give us an example for this proof?"
Professor: "With this proof I have already calculated all the examples for you. '"

A physicist, an engineer and a mathematician are in a burning attic, the rescue team of the fire brigade is ready.
The engineer stands by the window, takes a look at the situation and lands somewhere on the pillow.
The physicist skips the whole thing again by the order of magnitude in order to hit the center with sigma - one - accuracy.
The mathematician crouches in a corner and takes root in term transformations, then finally gets up, jumps - and flies up, never to be seen again.
In the infinite they all meet again, engineers and physicists ask the mathematician what happened there, to which he replies: "Sign error".

Theophysicist in the IC Bern - Basel to the conductor:
"Sorry, does Geneva stop on this train too?"

Theorem: Mathematicians are convergent.
Proof: Mathematicians are monotonous and limited. q.e.d.

When is a math lecture compact?
When the room is locked and the professor confined.

What does a mathematician give his wife for her wedding day?
A polynomial ring packed in an interval box.

During the lecture, a famous mathematics professor is said to have encountered the difficult task 7 times 9. He asks the students for help.
One calls: "62", another "65".
Then the professor: "But, gentlemen, that's impossible, 7 times 9 can only be 62 or 65!"

A programmer and a mathematician sit side by side on an airplane en route from London to New York. The programmer leans over to the mathematician and asks him if he would like to play a little entertainment game. The mathematician would rather sleep and refuse.
The programmer doesn't give up that quickly. He explains the rules of the game: "I ask you a question and if you don't know the answer, I'll get 5 marks from you. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you 5 marks. "
Again the mathematician says no and tries to get some sleep.
The programmer is almost offended and makes another suggestion: "Ok, if you don't know the answer, you give me 5 marks, but if I don't know the answer, I'll even give you 50 marks.
Since the mathematician realizes that he cannot sleep soundly anyway, as long as he does not accept the programmer's suggestion, he finally agrees.
So the programmer asks the first question, "What is the average distance between the earth and the moon?"
The mathematician does not even answer, but wordlessly gives the programmer 5 marks. Then he asks his question: "What goes up the mountain with three legs and comes back down with four legs?"
The programmer is a bit surprised at this question. He takes out his laptop and searches all the databases he has on his computer. Since he cannot find an answer to the question there, he connects his laptop to the telephone system of the aircraft and searches the Internet, always looking for an answer. He emails friends and acquaintances, but no one has the solution.
After six hours he gives up in frustration and wakes the mathematician, who has been able to sleep peacefully in the meantime, gives him 50 marks and asks: "So what is the answer?"
Without saying a word, the mathematician reaches into his wallet, gives the programmer 5 marks, turns around with relish, and falls asleep again.

Diploma examination in mathematics: The professor examines a student in the large lecture hall. 200 students watch.
Examiner: "How much is 3 * 3?"
Student: "10!"
Every two hundred students as if from one mouth: "Give him a chance! Give him a chance!"
Examiner: "All right: how much is 3 * 3?"
Student: "8?"
Every two hundred students again: "Give him a chance! Give him a chance!"
Examiner: "Well, you still get a chance. How much is 3 * 3?
Student: "9?"
The students: "Give him a chance! Give him a chance!"

I can get excited about episodes over and over and over again.

Professor to the student: "Does a tram actually run with direct or alternating current?"
Student: "With alternating current!"
Professor: "But then doesn't she have to keep going back and forth?"
Student: "But it does!"

Physics exam
Examiner: Imagine there is a cannon over there on the mountain. If this is fired now: do you see the muzzle flash first or do you hear the bang first ???
1. DUT: I see the fire first !!!
Examiner: GOOD! And why ?
1. DUT: Well, when I turn on the radio, the light comes first and then comes the music.
2nd test item: I hear the bang first!
Examiner: Why?
2. DUT: When I switch on the television, the sound is there first and then the picture comes.
3rd test item: I see the fire first.
Examiner: (pleased) And why?
3rd examinee: Well, the ears are also much further back than the eyes!

How many physicists does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, but 400 apply!
How many software developers does it take to change a defective lightbulb?
None. This is a hardware problem.
How many hardware developers does it take to change a defective lightbulb?
None. This is a software problem.
How many salespeople do you need to change a defective lightbulb?
Four. One to do it, three to explain to the public why it might not work.
How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Microsoft makes darkness the industry standard.

How many quantum mechanics does it take to change a lightbulb?
It takes a quantum mechanic to likely change the lightbulb.

How many theoretical physicists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One holds the lamp and the other rotates the universe.

A physicist studies the rate of fall of a thermometer. He drops a thermometer and a wax light at the same time and notices that they both come down at the same time.
Conclusion: The thermometer falls with the speed of light.

Oral exam: physics.
Examiner: "Draw a train on the board."
The examinee looks very confused and then paints a train, really with smoke, rails, trailers, etc ...
Examiner: "You see. And it has now left for you."

Math class yesterday - today - tomorrow
Secondary school in 1960
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50, - DM. The production costs are 40, - DM. Calculate the profit!
Realschule 1970
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50 DM. The production costs are 4/5 of the proceeds. What is the profit ?
Gymnasium 1980
An agronomist sells a lot of subterranean crops for a lot of money (G). G has a thickness of 50. The following applies to the elements from G: G is 1. The quantity has the production costs (H). H is 10 elements less powerful than the set G. Draw the picture of the set H as the redemption set of the set G and give the solution (L) for the question: How powerful is the profit sum?
Comprehensive School 1990
A farmer sells a sack of potatoes for 50, - DM. The production costs are 40, - DM and the profit is 10, - DM.
Task: Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss it with your neighbor.
School 2000 (after educational reform)
a farmer who has been granted a capitalist stick enriches himself by 10 dm on a sack of potatoes, according to justification. examine the text for content-related fields, corroborate the form of the task and demonstrate against the solution.
School 2010
there are no potatoes mer!

A mathematician and a physicist stand bored in front of the university and wait for the bus. "How high is the barrier to the parking lot?" ask yourself.
The mathematician "Hm ... we know the time, that is the angle of the sun over the horizon ... you could measure the length of the shadow and do a math to find the value."
The physicist "Hm ... throw a sufficiently heavy ball exactly into the air, then you can find the height by neglecting the friction."
At that moment an engineer comes by and asks what they are doing there so lost in thought. When he hears the answer, he folds down the barrier and measures.
After he's gone, the mathematician says to the physicist: "What an idiot. We wanted to know the height and not the length."

It was recently demonstrated that a driver who approaches a red traffic light at a speed of 40.65 * 10 ^ 6 m / s = 40650 km / s = 146.340.000 km / h will appear green because of the Doppler effect .
Since this speed could already become a reality in the next millennia, the police should adjust their red light sinner cameras to it in good time.

A man walks his dog by a lake. Suddenly he sees a woman holding herself above water with the last of her strength and then sinking back unconscious. He jumps into the water, grabs the woman and pulls her to the bank. He lays her on her back and begins to make pumping movements with her arms. Each time a thick stream of water shoots out of her mouth. In the meantime, a cyclist has stopped, watches the goings-on and shakes his head. The man continues to pump and each time a jet of water comes out of the woman's mouth. The cyclist just shakes his head and says that it will never be like that.
After a while the man's collar bursts and he snaps at the cyclist: "Man, shut up! I know what I'm doing, I'm a doctor."
"Well," says the other, "but I'm an engineer, and I'll tell you, as long as the woman has her bum in the water, you should at most empty the lake."

"What does an unemployed physicist say to a physicist who has just found work?
"One fries with mayonnaise, please ..."

Someone who is out in a hot air balloon and got lost wants to know where he is now. He sees someone standing in a field from above and lets off hot air to ask him where he is now.
Balloonist: "Can you tell me where I am?"
After a while the answer comes back: "In the gondola of a hot air balloon."
Balloonist calls back: "You are certainly a mathematician. First, it took a while for the answer to come, second, the answer is perfectly correct, and third, I can't do anything with the answer. The fact is that you were of no help."
The mathematician replied, "And you are certainly a manager. First, you don't know where you are or where you're going, second, you got into your current position because of a large amount of hot air, and third, you expect the people below you to they solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position as you were before we met, but now it's somehow my fault. "

A physicist, a mathematician and a math / physics teacher are accommodated in a hotel. The hotel starts to burn at night. What are the physicists, mathematicians and math / physics teachers doing?
The math / physics teacher looks for a fire extinguisher, finds it, puts out the fire and lies down again.
The physicist burns in the house while trying to measure the temperature of the fire.
The mathematician burns too, because he looks for a fire extinguisher, finds it, but then lies down again with the knowledge: There is a solution and it is clear.

A physicist, a computer scientist, a "normal" mathematician and a topologist are each locked in a room. You get enough canned food but no opener. After a week, the cells are disrupted.
In the physicist's room, all the walls are written on with formulas, the cans are a little deformed, but open and he is alive.
In the computer scientist's cell, the walls are completely smeared with strange bills, the cans are absolutely destroyed. He is in good spirits and lives.
Then the mathematician's accommodation is unlocked. Again, the walls are full of equations. The cans are untouched, however, and the mathematician is dead. The top line on a wall reads, "Assume the cans are open."
Finally, they open the topologist's room. There the board is also covered over and over with formulas, the box is in the middle of the room, only the topologist is missing. Then they hear a knock. One of them takes a can opener and opens the can. The topologist crawls out: "Damn, sign error."

A few people watch the guests getting on and off at a bus stop. They see ten people getting on an empty bus. The bus drives away, but five minutes later a bus that looks the same arrives and eleven people get off!

Scientific jokes:

Physics exercises


Evidence Methods

D2 experiment

Dark pear

Electrical current

Electric Liese

Fishing methods

Genesis of Mathematics

Genesis of Physics

Genesis of Physics II

Laws of Aviation

Computer scientists and wolves

Cats, Sandwiches and Antigravity.html

Fairy tale from zero

Mathematician and physicist jokes

Care of an electrician

Physicist and lightbulbs

Little Red Riding Hood (chemist)

Little Red Riding Hood (computer scientist)

Little Red Riding Hood (mathematician)

Warning notices

Scientific phrases