How do you deal with annoying people

Annoyance: how to deal with difficult people

Everyone chooses the job themselves. However, you usually don't know your work colleagues, just like your supervisor. And on closer inspection, one or the other turns out to be Annoyance. This includes people who constantly have something to criticize, who chew your ear off, have to constantly push themselves to the fore or otherwise spoil the mood - in short: get on your nerves. If you don't want to quit the job right away, but also don't want to make it unnecessarily difficult, you have to come up with something. How to deal with difficult people ...

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

Nervesäge Meaning: When the end of the nerve is counted

Even if the Origin of the term Annoyance nag) is not completely clear, the meaning seems obvious: Metaphorically speaking, a pain in the ass is something that can destroy a person's nerves.

The Duden defines a pain in the ass as "a person or thing that is extremely annoying to someone". Usually only one unsympathetic person so called, which is why the following terms are used synonymously with annoyance:

  • Plague
  • Nerve killer
  • Nuisance
  • Tormentor
  • Troublemakers
  • Troublemaker
  • Unsympathetic

➠ Content: This is what awaits you

What is a pain in the ass?

The reasons someone might find another person a pain in the ass can of different nature be. They don't even have to be based on the supposed nuisance, maybe the annoyed person is just very sensitive. Or he was having a bad day.

However, some habits are really annoying. If these days add up to weeks and months, it is obvious that you are dealing with a real pain in the ass. Especially when others Confirm your impression.

To the most common behaviors in jobs that annoy other people count:

  • unreliability

    You had agreed with your colleague which part of the project he would take on and present it in the meeting. Now it turns out that he has waited until the last minute to do it and is accordingly poorly prepared. That falls back on the whole team. Or it leads to the need to work overtime that is just barely avoidable.

  • Grub

    Whenever you express an idea, colleague Meier comes back and has dozens of reasons that should perhaps be considered, because you never know ... Of course, several aspects should always be considered and possible advantages and disadvantages weighed. The problem with those with concern, however, is that they become a real pain in the ass if they always and exclusively see the negative and sometimes outrageous aspects.

  • ruthlessness

    In addition, there are of course annoying things that behave as if they were alone in the world. You may need rest at work - your colleague is whistling a song. Or listen to the radio on the side. Makes private calls loudly on the phone. Or he does not stick to agreements: the coffee cup generally ends up on the shelf instead of in the dishwasher. When it is his turn to do something, he pulls out of the affair. Nobody needs such egomaniacs.

  • Boasting

    Real annoyances are also those who incessantly infuriate themselves. Their great performance, their great ideas, they always come first and the team, well, that was there. Talkers are really caustic, such contemporaries are extremely unfriendly.

Incorrect behavior leads to escalation

Who his colleague or boss always feels like a pain in the ass, has a problem. Of course, you can wish that the other person would just stop with their annoying behavior. Such prayers are rarely answered.

As an employee, you can - at least in the first step - actively influence the effect Behavior the pain in the ass on you Has.

Because many of the annoying behaviors and quirks of your colleague are exhausting because you expect different behavior. Most people instinctively hope that others will tick just like them - because they are “right”.

But people are different, have other norms and values, Interests and ideas. So it won't get you anywhere if you expect the annoyance to just be like you.

On the contrary: Anyone who avoids conflict before the debate, makes the situation worse just. Experience has shown that anger builds up over the pain in the ass until it breaks out of you at some point.

Then, under certain circumstances, unsightly scenes can happen been avoidable would be.

Annoying boss: How do you deal with it

Also Superiors can be a pain in the ass. You are constantly being nagged or tasks are transferred at short notice, which puts you in a time constraint - ugly. Here it is important to first develop a certain calm in dealing with criticism.

This strategy is by no means about ducking in front of your boss, accepting everything without complaint and passively accepting the annoying behavior. Rather, it's about a certain Sensitivity to situations and behaviors to develop - superiors are only human.

But they usually have the longer lever. For example, mood swings and rudeness can occur Be part of the personality - or caused by stress and high exposure.

Tasks distributed at short notice and a lack of planning can have their roots in a chaotic way of working. But it is also possible that your boss himself receives the projects and tasks only at very short notice and then passes them on to you immediately.

If you watch your boss carefully for a while and concentrate on the causes of his behavior, you can prepare accordingly diplomatically:

  • Keep asking questionsthat show that you understand the pressure your boss is under. This is how you build trust and show understanding for his situation.
  • Actively pursue preventionby giving your boss as little reason as possible to be angry. However, you should also speak openly about this to your boss and make it clear that you are making an effort to complete the tasks as expected.
  • Counter your bossif he gets upset without justification - do it constructively! So do not react with aggression and accusations on your part, but clearly state why the criticism is not justified in your view.

Dealing with annoyances: this is how it works

As mentioned: Ideally notices the pain in the assthat she has to change something in her behavior because she is constantly offended and avoided by others. Much more often, however, such people do not notice anything and wonder why others behave so strangely around them.

Exclusion should, however never the means of choice be. Treating colleagues fairly requires an active approach. The path to conflict resolution runs with these tips:

  • acceptance

    That sounds all the more like the increasing contradiction, but you should first check exactly what annoys you: Are they really unforgivable mistakes or human weaknesses? Anyone who forgets something is far from being malicious. Sometimes it can help to lower your own expectations accordingly.

  • pronunciation

    There is usually no getting around it, unless the first point applies. Therefore, you should ask your colleague that he is displaying a pain in the ass. However, this does not include just saying: You annoy! Because that will usually hurt the other person. It is more important that you name in I-messages using concrete examples why his behavior sucks your nerves and makes it difficult for you to carry out your work. Make it clear that you want to get along well with each other and that you would therefore rather address problems directly than shred your mouth.

  • reflection

    Those who often have to take criticism of their ideas from the annoyance should ask themselves, for example, whether their colleague is perhaps right on one point or another. If his points of criticism apply, you should of course change something. However, if the constant criticism is unjustified, you should make this clear to yourself and build a certain distance from it. There is a risk that you will develop an attitude that negatively affects the way you deal with legitimate criticism. You can contain this, however, by reassuring yourself with other colleagues or clarifying which points are important to you in a feedback discussion with your boss.

  • Mediation

    However, a further level is reached when you notice that your constructive criticism falls on deaf ears and nothing changes in the behavior of the pest. Discussions with third parties, the supervisor or the works council, are indicated at the latest. If there is no amicable solution because the fronts have hardened, a spatial separation or relocation to another area can help.

  • Exit

    This step is the most extreme, but it may be necessary if the work environment makes you sick. Ultimately, the point is to avoid contact with the pain in the ass as much as possible. If this is not possible through measures as in the point mentioned above, a job change can be an alternative.

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22nd September 2020Author: Anja Rassek

Anja Rassek studied, among other things, German at the WWU in Münster. She worked for community radio and a publisher. Here she devotes herself to topics relating to the office, everyday work and studies.

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