Heartbreak is just a part of life

Heartache and suddenly the longing for the previous life

What I miss as an adult and a mother:

- Spontaneously go camping all by yourself.

- In general: spontaneity and not always having to think about who is taking care of the child.

- Not having to hide my cell phone all the time and at the same time wasting my time on Netflix and Co. (we hide our cell phone because otherwise the son will want to see "Masha and the Bear" as soon as he discovers the cell phone).

- Once a year, just go out and celebrate 24 hours a day and not have to call anyone to find out where I am.

- To have time to learn, to experience new things, to immerse yourself in a new topic, to meet new people, to have the time, mental capacity and energy for activism.

- The opportunity to do sports, meditate, eat well and work - all in one day!

- To bang a series at night and just catch up on sleep the next day.

- Just read a book for a weekend, don't cook and only live on falafel and halloumi.

- Do stupid, but horny, adventurous shit and don't think about the consequences for my whole family.

It was all part of me. And i miss it. I love my "grown-up and I'll-be-easy!" Life. But: I also liked my old life. Very.

Allowing Heartache: This was what Glennon Doyle wrote, and my heart sank and I knew right away what she meant. We all wonder what to do with our time at some point in our lives. What is good for us, for our families and friends, society, the environment, the world. We are looking for meaning. Most of them don't even know where to start. It's overwhelming and often we feel like we can't change anything. We isolate ourselves and do not let these feelings in.

Glennon Doyle writes about the excuses we make in her book Untamed. "I wish I could learn more about the injustice, I wish I could visit this sick friend, I wish I would get involved in this matter, I wish I could be there for this family - but I can't stand it because it breaks my heart. "

We spin ourselves in a cocoon and avoid "negative" feelings: pain, anger, fear. We avoid news or certain messages, avoid informing ourselves about the climate crisis, and avoid the following climate fear, Corona and its consequences, avoid looking up what is happening with Moria and other refugee camps, avoid reading about the rights and how they are Increase their power and following. But we have to let all of that in. Not all at once, not non-stop. But we have to feel fear, anger, frustration, sadness, heartache. In the society we live in we have learned to avoid “negative” feelings, but they are part of life. We can welcome them, perceive them and then let them go again. And this is how heartbreak can work. Heartbreak can help us to take action, it is the fuel for our search for meaning so that we can start or continue the fight. Allowing heartbreak is the beginning - not the end.


Milena Glimbovski is our blogger of the month: The Berliner Zeitung invites creative network personalities to present their work in interviews and selected texts.