Why can't I display my questions?

3 reasons your client won't answer questions

What to do if my client doesn't answer my questions?

Some time ago I got a message from a coach. She wrote me that she has a client who doesn't answer her questions and she doesn't really know why. A nice example of our everyday challenges as coaches.

It can happen again and again that clients do not answer our questions. The causes for this can be varied.

In my practice, however, I have been able to observe the following 3 reasons again and again:

1. We want more or even too much

In the process it can happen again and again that we want more than our clients. This can happen when we identify ourselves strongly with the goal and feel connected to it. Or we think we already know the way to achieve our goals and are impatient. For us it is difficult to bear that our client goes at his / her own pace or even takes a different path. Often this is an unconscious process of ours and we do not even notice that our client is blocked or even in resistance.

Here we are challenged to question ourselves again and again and to steer against “our way”.

2. We ask too much

Our client can actually feel “overwhelmed”. On the one hand, this impression can arise when we ask too many closed questions and the conversation is more like a question-and-answer game and less of a constructive dialogue between us and our client / s. On the other hand, it usually happens when we don't let him / her think in peace and immediately ask another question. Here it is very clear: slow down!

If you want to learn how to ask really good questions, take part in my course.

3. Our client is overwhelmed

If our client doesn't know the answer to our question, then it may well be that she / he is blocked. This happens when we ask questions that are too big or too far away in the mind of our client. Therefore ask the questions a little more "digestible", ie "smaller". For example, instead of asking: "What does a possible solution look like?" Rather "What could the first step be (to develop an idea / to find a solution strategy)?"

If we perceive that our client needs strengthening, a small injection of resources makes perfect sense. At this point you can, for example, look back on “what has been achieved so far” in order to recharge the resource store. You can then come back to the topic later.

What else might interest you:

How to work resistance in 4 steps

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Andrea Schlösser - Coaching made easy