Why do so many celebrities split up

Relationship coach on political marriages : Many celebrities have to celebrate their breakup

Mr. von Huchting, why are we interested in the marital problems of the rich and powerful?

There is an opinion that this gossip and clap is innate in us. It's social, creates trust and closeness and strengthens cohesion. You also strengthen your own status by telling someone something that they don't yet know. In addition, a look at celebrities should give us hope and alleviate fear. If things don't work out for them, it distracts us from our own failure.

Do high-ranking politicians separate differently from the average citizen?

We cannot judge how it goes behind the scenes. But such people have to separate differently because they live differently. Many celebrities use social media and post every bun there. They establish their status and make money with it. Therefore, they also have to publicly celebrate events such as breakups. In the example of Schröder and Schröder-Köpf, the power interests are different from those of most couples. Mr. Schröder is a power man through and through. He would like to retain this power and, for example, determine what happens to his name, which is also a brand.

Have you had such clients?

Yes, more often. It is often a question of what name the children have. But even non-celebrities are sensitive when it comes to the name. A Dutch couple was with me at the moment. The naming rights there are different: If an illegitimate child is born, it automatically bears the father's name - in Germany it is exactly the other way around. This influences the external impact of the parties to the divorce: Who is the important one who gets his name through?

What problems do couples in public face?

They actually fight with themselves. Especially marriages, which should best improve the status or the number of followers, are usually narcissistic love relationships - they should increase one's own self-worth. When something like this comes to an end, it has something to do with falling prices, as in the stock market. The personal feeling of stepping out of the limelight is also difficult to cope with - quite apart from the fact that it is also very difficult on the emotional level. After all, people don't just get together for calculation - at least not all of them.

What does it mean for a person to be abandoned?

It's one of the greatest disasters we can imagine. That touches our innermost being, one is no longer enough for oneself as a person. If I am abandoned, my perceived kindness will be withdrawn from me. This can have fatal consequences up to and including severe depression.

Do shame and taboos play a role?

Definitely, even if we think we broke free of it. We have a plan for how we want to live together. It's hard to admit that this plan failed.

There has been a trend towards divorce parties in recent years, especially in the United States. Is it easier for people today to accept the end of a marriage?

I do not believe that. Such parties arise because marriage is staged differently - every school enrollment is now designed as a big celebration for Instagram and Facebook. But in general I don't think it's bad at all if I have made an official commitment such as marriage through a ceremony, to end it again with a ceremony.

Do you always try to get couples who come to you to stick together?

My main aim is for movement to come into the relationship. But if a partner really wants to break up, then I'm completely a service provider and make sure that it goes as smoothly as possible. However, it is often the case that couples have not yet tried everything. Usually a lot happens again when people deal with each other in a different way.

Are there also peaceful separations?

In any case. When both are ready to work together. It is important that there are no more open construction sites. As long as there are still allegations, it is difficult to treat one another with respect. The accounts, materially and emotionally, must be balanced. If it turns out that staying together is no longer possible, I make sure that the partners manage to break up well. Often families are also involved, children - they all have to come to terms with each other.

Hergen von Huchting (62) is a relationship coach and couple therapist in Berlin. He offers marriage counseling and, if desired, also accompanies couples through the separation process.

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