Why do we doubt our partner

Go or Stay: Doubts About Your New Relationship? THAT is behind it!

Facebook, Tinder, Lovoo: It's so much easier today to meet new people. Sometimes it is difficult to decide on a partner due to the large selection. To be really sure. Maybe a much more suitable partner is waiting on the next corner. Of course, we rarely admit that so openly. But this thought is often there subliminally.

So it's no wonder that at the beginning of a relationship, one or two doubts arise as to whether our new conquest is really suitable as a partner. At first everything seems so easy and carefree. You are freshly in love with a new partner. Everything is exciting and new. And actually full of butterflies too.

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Still: when you are with him, everything is still perfect. But then at some point you'll be alone again, and these little, nasty thoughts creep in. And they are difficult to drive away again. Do we still get along when the first pink clouds are gone? Can I be with him longer or doesn't his manner annoy me at some point? It rattles in the head and that leaves its mark.

Always the same pattern

When exactly did that start? Actually, since it has been clear that you are a couple. But where this pessimism, this non-belief in love comes from, remains unclear. Maybe from the previous failures? The bad experiences with the ex and the stories other girls tell about their new acquaintances? The bad disappointments, the bad guys.

If you are completely honest, it is not necessarily because of the other person, it is just how you work yourself. With every new beginning you think you shouldn't trust your feelings of happiness. To have to stay sober and clear. Somehow everything is too good to be true. Finding the hook is the most illogical in the world, but we're tackling it.

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Video by Esther Pistorius

take your time

Then at the latest it becomes clear to us: It is up to us if we doubt. So we have to ask ourselves what we are afraid of ourselves. Getting hurt? To be disappointed? To open up and trust in falsehood? You can only change something if you know exactly why you keep hesitating and quarreling.

Be patient: the great Hollywood romance, in which both of you know from the first second that you are made for each other, rarely exists in real life. Often it is love at second or third sight and sometimes love only arises after a while, when you know each other better and are closer. Give yourself and him time. Take it easy if that feels better for you. Nobody has to introduce their "newbie" directly to all friends and family and move in together. Give yourself some kind of trial period where everything is relaxed. Just the fact that you put a different label on it can make you feel better.

Love takes courage - every time

When at some point everyday life has set in in the relationship, you are more familiar, have spent some time and experiences together, the doubts usually become quieter anyway. Or fall completely silent. You thaw and trust the new love. (Provided you have persevered and have not separated from your partner because of the doubts.) So before you split up prematurely, think about whether you want to give the whole thing a little more time.

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If everyone separates at the first doubt, you inevitably ask yourself: Do we really want to be completely unhappy and alone? Always looking for the perfect? It takes courage to get involved with a person. Every damn time. But we should muster up this courage, take a risk, because this is the only way we have a chance at the best thing in the world: love.

Anyone who goes through the world and is constantly afraid of being hurt and therefore does not let anyone into his little rabbit heart will not be able to find Mr. Right. With this in mind: be brave, girls! "Only he who dares wins" is an old, old saying. But it's still true.

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