Is teenage love wrong

They want to break out, loosen up, do their own thing - but at the same time they are always looking for the safety of their families. Adolescent boys and girls not only confuse themselves but also their parents. Often enough, the relationship gets out of hand, resulting in misunderstandings and conflicts. But parents can manage to keep in touch with their child even in stormy times. The most important questions and answers.

My child doesn't tell me anything anymore. What I have done wrong?

It is quite normal that friends of the same age are becoming increasingly important as conversation partners for children during puberty. That parents still want to know what concerns their offspring, too. Graduate psychologist Elisabeth Raffauf is convinced: "Conversations between parents and children work best when the children sense real interest." The typical question "How was school today?" that is probably not the case. "The children quickly notice whether the parents really want to know how they are doing, or whether they are primarily interested in the grade on their math school assignment," says the psychologist and author who works in an educational counseling center and groups for parents adolescent adolescent directs.

The result: the children remain silent, the parents fire one question after the other, and the children shut up all the more. The advice of the expert: "Ask openly 'How are you?', Talk about yourself and keep yourself open to situations in which young people talk about themselves." Because if the son or daughter knows that the parents will listen when it matters, then there is also a good chance that they will turn to the father and mother when they have real worries and need help.

Family adviser Jan-Uwe Rogge thinks rituals are a good way to keep talking to one another. That can be the common meal as well as the game evening or the Sunday stroll. "Unfortunately there is often no time for that in the daily routine," says the education expert. Such a ritual does not have to be cemented forever. If the young people “don't feel like going for a walk with mum and dad anymore”, they can be replaced, for example, by having dinner together. "The rituals shouldn't be left out entirely," says Rogge.