Why am I so afraid of rejection

Why are we afraid of criticism?

In everyday life we ‚Äč‚Äčexperience situations in which we are criticized: be it in professional life, when the work performance does not correspond or in private life, when the partner has no time for activities.

Behind the fear of criticism hides the feeling of rejection and rejection. Criticism poses a threat because the criticism is perceived as a negative evaluation of oneself. The feeling of rejection is very painful. Nevertheless, this uncomfortable feeling is part of life. Recognition and acceptance from fellow human beings basic human needs are to be maintained.

If the fear of rejection is very pronounced, you want to avoid it at all costs and show typical behaviors:
  • behave according to the wishes of others
  • Say yes
  • want to please others
  • make everything perfect
  • to please the others
  • do not talk about your own needs and desires
  • keep in the background
  • hide your own weaknesses
  • do not express any criticism or make any demands

 
The price people pay for it is high: you renounce the fulfillment of their own wishes and needs, do not pay attention to yourself and do not lead the life you would like to. Satisfaction and happiness depend on the approval of others.

Dealing with rejection and rejection

In the short term it is helpful to Allowing disappointment and sadness and to give yourself time for it. Talking to people you trust is also a relief in this situation. After a rejection, distraction is a good way to clear your mind and distance yourself from the event. A clarifying discussion with the person concerned - if possible - is also recommended.

To Processing the rejection In the long term, dealing with yourself is important. Does the rejection concern the person or rather the situation? Situational rejections are more easily accepted. If, however, one's own person is questioned, this indicates one lack of self-worth down.

Increasing and strengthening self-esteem counteracts taking rejection personally.

 
The rejection experienced in a particular situation should not affect future situations. E.g. continue to send applications or continue to ask the partner about joint ventures. If various situations are avoided, the fear of rejection increases. A rejection can be used as an opportunity to improve the cover letter, acquire new skills or find friends for activities instead of asking the partner.

Social phobia

If the fear of rejection is particularly pronounced, one speaks of a social phobia, which requires treatment. With a social phobia, the person concerned suffers from one strong feeling of inferiority and is constantly afraid of being judged negatively by the outside world. The rejection is always related to the own person and those affected avoid standing in the center, eating and talking with others or writing in front of others; In general, fear of social contact can develop up to social withdrawal and loneliness.

We will encounter rejection and rejection again and again in life, no one is immune from them.

 
Still, we can accept these situations. Maybe say no once to someone and decline an offer because you take your needs more seriously and risk disharmony in the process. Try it!

Photo source: iStock.com/Thomas_Zsebok_Images