What are your favorite movie anachronisms

Matrix is ​​out of date and embarrassing

This year the first film celebrates the matrixTrilogy its anniversary. A few media outlets devoted hagiographic reviews of the film's "enduring legacy", its themes, and its unforgettable iconography to the occasion, but for the most part no one really cared about it.

I was 14 when Martix came out and was far more interested in what was to come at the time Starwars-Prequel, which is why I got a movie in which the guy from Bill & Ted's crazy journey through time Wearing sunglasses for two hours, didn't give a shit. I heard from friends brave enough to attend a performance how "totally sick" matrix and that it would "downright knock me out". It would be a few more years before I finally felt the touch of a woman, but this film sounded like a cinematic consolation prize for it.

Since I was already a cynic in training at the time, I tried to ignore all the office clamor and exaggeration. It never dawned on me once that there might actually be anything behind their talk until I was on my way to Star Wars Episode I passed a hall in which matrix was shown. Between the shootings, the bombastic music and the philosophical dialogues, I heard real horror and loud sighs coming from the hall. The last time I'd heard these noises in a movie before was at the pool sex scene from Showgirls- and then they came from me, out of my room while I was masturbating.

matrix became a pop culture phenomenon that spawned video games, cartoons, merchandise, and two shameful sequels that today we would all pay money to forget. It was the ideal film for the society in which it was born and at that moment a real asset to the zeitgeist matrix formally redefined. But there is also a dark side to this relevance that is too fixated on the moment, and that is how the Wachowskis' magnum opus is received by subsequent generations. matrix was perfect for 1999, but watching the movie in 2014 feels like listening to a Limp Bizkit album today - something we should strongly advise against.

The matrix-Soundtrack includes such "legendary" artists as the Propellerheads, Deftones, Monster Magnet, Marilyn Manson and Rammstein. The CD has been used on commercial television since then as the soundtrack for pretty much everything from Galileo to home improvement programs and hired Linkin Park and POD (responsible for that ridiculous, shitty video up there) to contribute tracks.

The pop music in these films was like the world's worst Ozzfest line-up, as you can see when the Dave Matthews Band appeared on the soundtrack Matrix Reloaded sees. I mean, Dave Matthews Band! Somehow, however, it also fits, as her work sounds like a computer simulation of music. In 1999, the most popular celebrity was wrestler "Stone Cold" Steve Austin. Times have been tough, and that's especially true in music matrix-Soundtrack embodies this dark era pretty perfectly.

matrix is hopelessly out of date from the shitty music to the dubious outfits. You think mockingly “Yes, so what? At some point, all of the soundtracks and costumes will be out of date. Is that why you think Matrix is ​​lame? "Yes, although the following screenshot from the POD video may change my mind:

The music (and the clothes) are indeed the easiest target for ridicule, but if you took a closer look you would find that this movie is caught in a loop of never-ending anachronism that it will never be able to escape.

In front matrix Pop culture didn't know how to adapt to the new paradigm created by the steadily improving performance of computers and the Internet. "Evil Technology" films were a dime a dozen in the 90s. There were films like this Sandra Bullock and Dennis Miller flick, The Netwhich is kind of the cinematic equivalent of creepy news stories about razor blades in Halloween candy. "Hackers steal your credit cards ... and your soul!"

Kathryn Bigelow's Strange days predicted that in 1999 people would get their kick from virtual reality recordings of snuff films. In reality, it looks like we still haven't figured out how to make 3-D movies really bearable. It used to be Bigelow's ex-husband's groundbreaking film Terminatorwho told the story of a future war between man and machine. matrix has revived that story by using computers and the Internet as a link to eventual human evolution — a blank canvas full of unlimited possibilities. In fact, technology could be portrayed as something exciting. Computers let you fly, dodge bullets, and learn foreign languages ​​— in addition to being enslaved by giant octopus monsters. But I'm getting ahead, back to the beginning.

If you know the story of matrix don't know because you're 12 and your favorite movie Frozen let me explain it to you briefly: Keanu Reeves is a nerdy programmer who is being chased by cool people in leather overalls and 1957 IBM programmers who always wear sunglasses. The IBM programmers seem pretty angry, probably because they wear ties. The cool folks in leather overalls seem to be the good guys because they hang out at raves and know karate. It turns out that Keanu lives in what is actually a computer simulation from 1999. In the real world, he's connected to a machine that extracts energy from his lifeless, comatose body. This is the fate of all mankind, while sensitive machines have taken over the world and use humans to serve as batteries for their evil machine world. Why do machines hate humans so much? You're going to have to watch a completely independent cartoon prequel to find out.

In any case, the IBM guys are actually computer programs whose job it is to keep people from finding out the truth. The leather karate ravers are freed people who go back to "the Martix" to free other people from this mental prison. Keanu is their messiah who was prophesied that he would save humanity from slavery. But before he can do that, he must learn to believe in himself.

Sounds like a pretty sensational movie, doesn't it? Well not that fast, believers. Aside from bad fashion, nu-metal horrors, and an unhealthy reliance on the color green, is matrix just a goddamn movie about evil computers trying to destroy the planet. Sorry, but in 2014 we are all aware that it is not the technology that will destroy us, but the rich industrialists who only care about their personal profit. So if you thought the youngest Johnny Depp heap Transcendence would have been a step backwards into the nineties - um, yes.

It is matrix technically by no means badly done. The film has a good tempo, is exciting, sometimes even very clever and visually quite stimulating. He's only completely trapped in 1999 from design to core plot, like Thomas Anderson was before he became the Goth Jesus. Matrix is ​​simply the recycled descendant of everything that came before him.

There aren't many sci-fi or fantasy films that are as influential as matrix had, but there are a few. Starwars, the first modern blockbuster, easily falls into this category. The fact that a bunch of people reading a script in a living room gets even the slightest bit of media attention is testament to the long-term aftermath of the film's first release in 1977. Without it Starwars the world would be a different one.

On the other side of this exclusive spectrum stands Blade runner. A disaster in terms of critics and commercial success, which is why Ridley Scott's dystopian thriller obviously doesn't reach the popularity level of starWars achieved, but his unique vision of the future has smeared its filthy fingerprints over all of the sci-fi films that came after — including over matrix.

The Fifth Element, Judge Dredd, Dark City, The Crow, and any sci-fi or fantasy film made since 1982 matrix existed is a copy of the rainy, industrialized, yet aesthetic nightmare Blade runner.

Blade runner and Starwars could not be more different in their presentation, theme music, pace and tone. Nonetheless, the Wachowski siblings got them both drunk, let them have sex, and nine months (or 20 years) later they have a baby named matrix get — a sombre, ominous, desolate Jesus allegory about the struggle between good and evil. The only one that matrix really different from its ancestors is a bunch of annoying songs by terrible bands and the delayed duration of the bullet flight. Imagine a Donna Summer song in the canteen scene of Starwars in front.

Come on, imagine. OK, better not just imagine it. Listen to this while watching the canteen scene with no sound:

So, for God's sake, don't remake it matrix. It's a cultural artifact of another time, like that RoboCop, Seinfeld, The Dukes of Hazzard and Monica Lewinsky. We should leave these things where they belong. It's OK that things get old and lame at some point. My children will The Hunger Games and Twilight absolutely detest that today's youngsters swallow like hungry birds. Some things are not timeless classics. This admission is the first step in the healing process.

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